Now and then I'll post a new bit of my short fiction.



Fifteen First Sentences


The sound of distant gunfire reached us at the same time the most beautiful woman in the world began to dance.


He told a very small lie to make one day slightly easier, then spent the rest of his life watching that lie swell to the size of the sun.


This morning she first laced on her favorite tennis shoes and second laced herself to the back of the bedroom door.


She said yes when it should have been no and he laughed when the situation demanded a moment of silence.


Please she said and he said All right and she held out a dagger and he said Wow I thought you were kidding.


In the morning, as cool light painted both of their nude bodies pale pink, he could not for the life of him recall why it had seemed a good idea to bring home a woman with eyeballs tattooed on both of her sunken cheeks.


There was a gentleman who walked mildly among his fellow humans, worked mildly at a mild sort of job, married a woman as mild as himself, raised several mild children, and when he died the people around him immediately forgot he had existed, something the gentleman might have found mildly amusing.


In the dead still of night he opened a crystal box shaped like a crescent moon and removed an object everyone in the world believed to be pure myth.


So here’s where I live the mysterious woman said and the guy she’d picked up earlier in the evening hoped she wasn’t talking about the blood-spattered packing crate by the burned-out car.


When the pickup truck fishtailed she closed her eyes and held tight to the little plastic bag that had gotten them into this terrible mess.


Their love would endure forever, so long as forever was defined as seven days, three hours and eleven minutes.


Hot dogs contain a sinister and undetectable ingredient known only to the equally sinister and undetectable entities who place it there for purposes none of us will ever know.


I thought vampires only came out at night the lonely woman said and the man with the odd teeth and sunglasses said Don’t believe everything you read.


Things began getting truly out of hand when the people who last week turned into plush ducks began this week to turn into real ones.


Floating past the maple tree, heading up into the open sky he couldn’t help but think: This is going to be some kind of day. . .

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